It is summer, the fire element, the element that rules our sexual, creative energy. It is the season that is based on relationships and transformation. It is the peak of the wave of the yearly seasonal cycle.
My relationship with my sisters, our support and service to one another in this time of collective transition is very important to me. I feel it is a critical piece to our collective healing. It is not just the healing of women I refer to, but the healing of us all that will be affected through this sisterhood.
Relationships are important to the feminine. As women travel the transformational journey of healing the feminine principle we are confronted with the shadow side of relating from a disempowered posture in life. We have believed in a dysfunctional society’s perspective of our own power, or lack of it.
I recently discovered a shadow side of my relationship with the beloved sisterhood I cherish. I met up with a friend and her new partner one evening. I had a lot in common with her partner, so the conversation was enjoyable. I was happy for my friend to find such a good match for herself. I left feeling good, feeling seen, feeling generally delighted at the entire evening. My fire was alive and I didn’t hide myself with insecurities, etc.
I ran into my friend with her partner the next day. All she had to do was look at me with no smile, no words, just look. Without any conscious thought I immediately pulled in my energy, dimmed my light, and barely acknowledged her partner that I had just experienced a nice connection with the previous night.
I followed the thread of this reaction and realized that a part of me feels my relationships with my women friends are so important that I don’t allow myself to be my full expression, especially if there is any indication that it feels threatening to them. I knew I had not been in the least bit inappropriate and this had to be her own insecurity, but it didn’t matter. I was compensating for it. I have dimmed my fire all my life so I would be accepted.