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Archive for December 2009

Family: Only Love

December 14, 2009 By: Pamela Wright Category: Living with Intention, Mind Body Spirit


Holidays can suggest a mixed bag of joy as well as disappointment. In the midst of personal struggle (loss of a loved one, economic difficulty, family discord) during a time when we are conditioned to celebrate, Depak Chopra’s words are powerful food for thought: The world of spirit is a world of community, insight and love — it is unshakable, undivided and free of limitation.” May we uncover moments of simplicity and peace this holiday season.

Only Love

Family is about blending, the mixing of hearts. Noble hearts, happy hearts, sad ones, hearts filled with all that is good.
Family doesn’t require having the same name. It includes souls alike and different. Some we’re born into; some we meet along the way.
Family is a true commitment to growing together as well as individually.  Sizes vary, but the more the merrier is a good policy.
Family supports one another without judgment in the smooth times and the bumpy. Perfection isn’t expected but your best effort is always a good goal.  Remember the noble.
In family, we have something to learn from everyone; stay flexible and open.
Families rise above. We don’t ignore; we face what is in front of us. In the end we place challenges behind us and we forgive.
Family is the most important of earthly treasures because we can feel safe inside them.  We can be ourselves.  We can ask for help. We can play and laugh.

At the heart of family there is only love.

Wrestling with Impermanence

December 09, 2009 By: Pamela Wright Category: About, Living with Intention, Mind Body Spirit


And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  – Anaïs Nin

Everything changes. What was once secure, even partially, will eventually no longer be. The good, the bad, the black, gray or white. All circumstances will change, and change again. I’ve come to understand that dictum, overused and perhaps disbelieved by some, is an authentic truth. Some rock and roll song of my past reminds me: “Change will do you good.” How many of us want to buy that line? Which ones of us willingly trust-and-jump when life shifts and there is no choice but to change? Who among us will brave the doubt and uncertainty when the job doesn’t support, the relationship is abusive, health fails, the living conditions are detrimental?

Gilda Radner called this “delicious ambiguity” – the not knowing, having to change without being aware of an outcome, and more importantly a positive one we desire.  I’ve recently resigned my job as lead cook in a care facility. The position included planning, shopping and preparing three meals a day (both regular and vegetarian choices) for 40 people –serving and cleanup also.  Though I have done this part time, the toll it has exacted on my physical body has been immense.  I’ve justified the discomfort knowing I was gainfully employed while others were not. I believed I made a difference in the lives of the residents I nurtured with food and care. I  felt security in a bimonthly paycheck as well as a place in the world. But the time arrived when I knew in body, mind and soul that trusting change was no longer an option. That decision was my only choice.

A close sister-friend of mine wrestles with similar choices. Work she envisioned in a new,  dynamic city has lost its gleam and failed to provide adequately for her. Perhaps more importantly she hasn’t been given reign to express her full potential, nor has she been respected for her astute and insightful contributions in the workplace.  Change is upon her, she knows it, and yet it is my observation that trepidation stands guard over her being as she struggles to take a leap of faith. I could be wrong; my own intuition  is no substitute for hers.  As humans we often look for answers outside ourselves. Sometimes we are paralyzed by change and its implications.  Choices and decisions are mind and gut wrenching.  The waves of fear ripple through us as a mighty storm, and in our suffering we cease to trust  our  soul’s map of divine direction.

I was in love once with a man  who told me he would never change; he liked the way he was.  Changing was my responsibility in the relationship. Amending who I was became the norm, for losing the connection to him would have been devastating to me. And it was — for a time. I learned yet again that soul invites us to grow, and most often that development is painful. Leaning on friends and family supported me, but persevering through the distress of not knowing was what my soul required. I was being asked to change, to be ready and ultimately able to step into the unknown, for “one does not find new land without being willing to lose sight of the shore.”  We discover sooner or later, change will do you good.


December 01, 2009 By: Pamela Wright Category: Conscious Grandparenting

When the grandmothers speak the earth will be healed.” I read this on a card today. Grandmothers hold a power of  greatness unlike any other. Perhaps that’s where the title GRANDmother (or father) began. These elders are privy to a deeper sense of life because they understand generation, a legacy to their love. There is passion in the melding of change, a shift from mine to theirs and back to mine again. We embrace a conviction we can impart more wisdom in young lives. Is it possible we also bear a hope of absolution for the mistakes we made as caregivers to their parents?

I have three remarkable children — all adults — all active, caring and promising in their self discovery. Their expressions in the world are as individual as they are: determined, sensitive, pragmatic. As parents we like to believe their successes have been a product of  our dedication to them. Conversely, we reason their shortcomings are a fluke of nature, not our own misguided efforts. In reality, they are the sum of what we did or didn’t do, their own process of self-actualization and a seed expanding into the mystery.

Human beings, vegetables, cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune.” Einstein fuses ALL in the ambiguity of life.

In my personal realm of grand-parenting, I stand with a handful of close friends who also hold the esteemed title. We all treasure the offspring of our own, now-grown children. I watch in awe my friend who tenders deep affection and care to her two little ones, through sharing her family homestead. On their mountain they explore, taste, smell and breathe nature in all its beauty. Another friend recently moved back to the city where her daughter and granddaughter live. When they shared the trimming of her holiday tree, I wonder whose enchantment was more apparent. No doubt it was equal in joy and delight. Unlike my friends who live close to their grand darlings, I have recently left the immediate area where mine reside. In absentia, I remain their “grammy” in new ways. We travel to see one another; we write letters. One evening I listened to my granddaughter read through the marvel of a webcam. We are surely connected by our hearts.

The stories we pass long continue to be written.  As matriarch of family near or far, we hold a space for abiding love — with zeal, time, guts and a bequest for the tale to go on. Of course these some-tiny and all youthful loved ones will carry the torch long after the grandmothers and fathers have gone.  Our hope is we’ve made a difference in their lives, left them with beautiful memories and trusted lessons.  Our gift is the sacred place they occupy in our hearts — our children, their children, generations of a soul team.

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