10 Ways to Find Joy When You Think Life Sucks #3

October 25, 2010 By: celedra Category: Mind Body Spirit

#3. Grant that I may not so much seek to be loved as to love.

For years I had this poem memorized and would repeat it every night when I went to bed or whenever I awoke in the middle of the night.  Line by line, this prayer gave me the simple keys to peace and joy.

Make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is drakes, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console.
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

The beginning of this prayer is about giving up anger, blame, fear and hopelessness.  Clearly, these experiences don’t bring happiness.  And yes, at times we could say these feelings are justified, but why do we hold on to them when in the end they so deeply hurt our most sweet and vulnerable selves? The greatest cause of our pain is the experience of separation, whether separation from God or separation from one another – it is all the same to me.  Remembering this reminds me to hold myself and well as you, tenderly in the heart of compassion and love.

It is the middle section of this prayer that has touched me the most.  Haven’t we all suffered the unrelenting mental torture of worrying whether someone liked us or not?  Or if we were getting our ‘share’.  When I learned to put the focus more on loving and caring and understanding another, there arose an incredible freedom. Instead of always worrying about my own lovability, my intention became to simply become more loving.  It continues to be a joyful work in progress.

Unconditional love – giving without the expectation of getting something in return.   This is the purity of giving that can fill our hearts.  Giving to our own precious selves as we would another.  Forgiving another as we would want to be forgiven.  Forgiveness for our humanness.

Although I’m not sure of what St. Francis meant in this last line, for me it has always meant a dying of the ego, that part of us that measures, grasps, takes things so painfully personally.  Dying into love, surrendering into the heart of the divine and making this choice moment to moment – what greater joy can there be!

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1 Comments to “10 Ways to Find Joy When You Think Life Sucks #3”


  1. Loving Meditation

    If there are visions
    you feel missing
    from your life
    perhaps you don’t know yourself
    as well as duty tells you.
    Instead of forcing codes and
    ritual, care-challenged wishes
    Look! Watch vivid panorama
    of you from early memories,
    each significant nexus
    along the way
    to now.
    What is missing from your life
    is not meant for others to fulfill.
    Love you give yourself
    expands 4-fold
    You give yourself more to give
    You give the world ripples
    of your love
    You give the eternal spirit within
    essential energy
    to create what is great
    within you
    You give to mankind an example
    of true humanity.
    Do not be afraid to love.
    Do not be ashamed to love the
    one closest to you.
    Learn the meaning of loving charity.
    It’s not about dying for your sins.
    It’s fulfilling yourself
    through your own loving kindness.
    Living a vision of love.

    It is all illusory to some senses
    while being exactly what it is

    (c) July 6, 2008 Laurie Corzett/libramoon

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